Red Light, Green Light

[jtthomas]

 This is an extraordinarily Massachusetts-specific song. Fair warning has been given.
*Unintentional West Side Story. I only caught it on my first time singing the song through.

ttto Dane Geld, Leslie Fish

It is always a temptation
Upon exiting gas stations
To ignore all road ordinance and say,
"We think your lights are useless--
I mean, we're in Massachusetts--
So we'll drive on through. Who cares for right of way?
And that is called running the red light
And the people who run it explain 
That the people who wait for the green light
In this state are all waiting in vain.

It is always a temptation
Though not across the nation
For rich folk running through the lights to say,
"Gee, Officer*, I'll tell you,
Do you know who's going to hell? You,
Unless you let me quickly drive away!
And that's called escaping the red light,
For I've seen it again and again
That not even cops wait for green lights.
When will it turn, I ask, when?

It's still wrong to let temptation
Dictate where's your next vacation
Or soon your Masshole manners will fall prey
To the stunning propriety of most driving society
Where you never can fess up and say,
"I never do wait for the green light.
An accident's still worth the cost.
For if I should wait through the red lights,
Three hours of my day would be lost, lost, lost --
Yes, three hours of my day would be lost!"

Comments

[madfilkentist]

Now I'm thinking I should work up "The Massachusetts Tangle" for Saturday if I can. Tom Lehrer's piano part isn't easy, and I haven't played it in years, but maybe.

[jtthomas]

Ooh, yes! And there's always the Boston subway song.

Funny that we're saying all this when this Saturday is in New Hampshire.

[kellan_the_tabby]

have driven in Massa Two Shits, can confirm